You know how sometimes what seems like the last straw turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to you? In retrospect, that pretty much sums up our recent trip to Wilmington. Colonel Kim decided she wanted to go along on our road trip and we were happy to have her along on the adventure. That’s the beauty of being a three piece. There’s always room for company! Kim insisted on getting a loaner van, but the van showed up with out seats. So we didn’t have the van. Then we did have the van again. Then we had to convince Darby to get into said van.
Wilmington is only about 2 ½ hours from here, but Darby and Kim packed like we were never coming back. I’m serious. Two small coolers with snacks and drinks, a carafe of coffee with accompanying travel cups, many duffle bags of mystery, a toolbox and an industrial electric cord. I silently giggled to myself! However, tropical depression whomever was blowing through that night and the coffee really came in handy when the rain started to pound us. Then once again on the tense return trip.
We were really psyched to play in Wilmington, but it turned bad. Two of the acts on the floor we were playing cancelled which left us playing last. I insisted the “host” band played last, but he wanted to stick to the line-up. Not wanting to be a bad “guest” I went along. We noticed halfway through the set of the band before us, the soundman disappeared. To my horror, when we played not only did our “host” band disappear, but so did half the crowd. We never saw the soundman again that night. Once again, Colonel Kim to the rescue! Despite her efforts, we were playing in a basement and I couldn’t hear anything. On the fly, I reorganized our songs only playing my guitar when Darby had the leads. I was so furious, I pulled, what Gavin calls, an Elvis and just stood there singing with contempt in my eyes and popped off at the mouth once in a while. I never start a set without finishing it, but at that moment, I had had it and was ready to walk off. Still, I finished the set.
The drive back was no picnic. It was cold and rainy. Even worse, as I have said, I felt like I had been pushed over the edge. I lost my temper like I haven’t lost my temper in years. Poor Gavin, Darby, and Kim had to endure 3 hours of me ranting and raving about all things musical. I just could not shut up. It all kept flowing out. I spouted my views on everything from my musical childhood to the current local scene. When we arrived at Darby’s house, I insisted that I didn’t want to do this anymore and left all of our equipment there. I went as far to hand her the picks out of my pocket and say, “I QUIT!”
I spent the next few days in hiding. I was truly embarrassed and thought my friends would never look at me the same way again. I also knew that it was something deeper that caused me to react the way I did to one bad show. I’m used to those by now ;)
So, I did a lot of thinking about the possible cause of my frustration. And luckily, I have the kind of friends who just see me as passionate.
Over the course of our time together, I think we’ve played a fair amount of shows. In a year, I lost count at 38 pressless shows. I got sick back in August, and stayed sick for about 6 weeks. I would think I was getting better and it would come right back. I blame this on continuing to play while sick and germy bar mics. Just thinking about whose lips and other punk rock body parts may have touched them makes me cringe! I realized that maybe, just maybe I’ve been pushing myself a little too hard. We haven’t even had time to record a proper album. I’ve been building a database of venues for when we can go further out than NC, booking, playing, juggling drummers, doing all the admin. & graphic Goodness, hosting bands, and let’s not forget working and living a real life. A friend recently told me that it was okay to feel tired. I looked at her like she was insane. But, it’s true. Again in retrospect, I think the cold was my body’s way of telling me something. So for now, and with much restraint, I’m taking it a little lighter on the booking until we finish this recording and grow our set a little bit. I feel that it is a necessity before we go any further. I guess I just feel that working hard is a measure of my drive for all this.
In the meantime, I’m writing lots of new songs and reviving some oldies. Our website is still being tinkered, but it’s live. And, I’m working on a couple of projects with Subdivision 67, which will hit a ledge near you before the end of the year. Wilmington was a great experience. I’m too tough and I mean it too much to quit. Thanks for the reminder.
